Daniel Webb at Cap City Comedy

Daniel Webb on “Scary Carry” and why he shouldn’t hold a gun.

“We got open carry. We got it! More like, open scary. Am I right? I love gun control in Texas because it’s like us trying to use the metric system. Not going to do it! Sounds vaguely homo-sexual can’t do it. Texans are also real stubborn, for instance, weather alert. If you are allergic to cedar and you live in cedar park you’re an *******! Please don’t think this is a crazy gun rant cause it’s not. I’m not anti-gun…I have no business holding a gun. Me holding a gun is like me trying to penetrate a women. It doesn’t work. I’m sorry, but I am sick of mass shootings. Can we all agree that all these gunmen are ugly. Not one of them is sexy! It’s a gallery of fugly dudes that have been in the works too long. Get a job! It’s just one of those crazy things. The political season is one of my favorite things in the world, and I don’t want to get political with you people, but these gun things are making me insane. With my luck i’m going to get shot up at a dollar movies watching Magic Mike…again. My mom’s going to be weeping at my funeral, ‘at least he died doing what he loved!'”


Check out our NEXT Cap City Comedy show – February 23!

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